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BROWNIAN MOTION INTO THE OCEAN – by Harveen Bansal

BROWNIAN MOTION INTO THE OCEAN

Follow your passion! Do what you love!

Simple isn’t it?

Or not.

See figuring out what your passion is, is not always easy. We get conditioned from a young age to follow a ‘’recipe for success.’’ Go to school get good grades then get into university and do a bachelor’s and a master’s. This brings you to the job market. Here begins your career. Seek an entry-level position. Through hard work and patience, you will climb the career ladder, earn a good salary, respect, and have a good life.

As someone who followed this ‘’recipe for success’’ having worked for the last ten years first in retail, management with the most recent seven years in healthcare and administration, January 2019 hit differently.

I spent the last seven years under the mentorship of a very successful cardiac surgeon. The title of a personal assistant would not do much for most of us (target CEO!), but I got a wide range of experience that most normal jobs don’t provide. From setting up businesses in Mauritius to tending to a patient having a heart attack, my skill base extended massively. 

Every Monday when my friends were dreading going back to work and dealing with Monday blues, I was enjoying my time. Days, weeks, months, and years passed by without me even realizing it. And God knows I needed that.

My personal life has been a struggle and this job gave me all the balance and satisfaction I so badly needed. Then why did I wake up one day in January 2019 feeling like I couldn’t do this anymore?

The first day back at work after the holidays, I was queasy from the moment I woke up but as knotted up as my gut was feeling my mind had just one thought ‘hand in your notice today’.

My boss and I had built a good relationship over the years so as soon as he walked in, he knew something was up. I was sitting there palms sweaty, knees weak, arms were heavy (luckily no vomit on my sweater, skipped mom’s spaghetti!).

I tried to practice what I was going to say between handling patients in the clinic but in the end, I chickened out, I mean it was stupidity, I was going to leave and go where?? These were just holiday blues.

The months passed by, but this feeling did not. I dabbled in a bit of online job searching to see what was out there- but I had absolutely no clue where to go! As much as my experience is vast: 

What kind of job do I apply for? 

– What industry? 

– Do I still want to be in healthcare? 

First of all, do I even REALLY want to quit this job? Do I just need another colleague? Someone to share the work with and spend some time within the office? (Most of my day was spent by myself). Somewhere along this path, I lost my way. I clearly could not go on in this limbo- a choice had to be made. So I gave myself a target- to make a decision by the end of September.

I spoke with my brother and close friends to help me figure out if I was just going through a phase or something actually needed to change.

After years of being recommended to trial it, I decided to go for hypnotherapy- my inner self had to have some clue on what to do right? I also started listening to self-affirmation videos in the mornings hoping something would click and give me the answers I need.

September started and ended, but a decision I did not make.

And I did not know it at the time but, really and truly ask the universe and you shall receive!

Luckily I was heading to my favorite place- the beach-for my best friend’s birthday in early October. He knew the struggle I was going through over the past few months.

One afternoon while laying by the infinity pool looking over the ocean I told him about an ad that had been consistently been playing on my YouTube asking philosophical life questions like if tomorrow you woke up with everything you wanted:

What would you have? What would your job be? Who would your partner be? What would your body look like? What kind of family would you have?

Shout out to Mind Valley!

Hearing these questions several times had the little hamster in my head churning the wheel, and I was almost there!

So he (my best friend) asked- ‘WHAT would you be doing??’

I looked over at him and then back at the ocean. My thoughts drifted to a video I had recently watched. A 19-year-old invented a device to clean up the Pacific garbage patch and I was amazed! First at how much bloody rubbish there is in the ocean and secondly at how this 19-year-old came up with something so simple and yet so ingenious to help the oceans! 

‘I want to clean the ocean!’ I proclaimed and he said ‘so clean the ocean!’

And it was just as simple as that!

I drifted off again, envisioning myself being in the middle of the Pacific, removing all that junk from the water and it brought such a deep feeling of peace and happiness that I knew then I found the answer I was looking for!

I came back after a blissful five days and handed in my resignation. A three-month notice that would end at the end of January 2020. I was told I was crazy to not have secured another job before leaving, that the job market was terrible, that I was absolutely nuts for leaving something stable for the unknown.

A leap of faith! And as I write this, a leap I am certainly not regretting!

Are you in a limbo too? 

Whether you feel like you need to do some soul searching to find your passion or you want to do your part in keeping our oceans clean, follow me as I share my journey and break down what we can all do for ourselves and for our oceans!

About the author:

My name is Harveen and I could be anything between the average girl next door to the girl you watch from your window and wonder ‘what on earth is she doing now?’

 I recently quit my job because even though I was in a stable environment, I realized I was unhappy with where I found myself. Stuck in a routine doing things for others and their dreams, but nothing for mine. I knew there was so much more to life, I just didn’t know where to begin!

 This is my journey.

https://www.facebook.com/harveensworld

https://www.facebook.com/harveensworld

http://www.harveensworld.com

 

1 Comment


  1. Lauren

    Lovely article and since time is precious it’s important to use it wisely!

    Reply

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