The quality of your life is the quality of your relationship, and it starts with your relationship with yourself.

Learning how to fall in love with yourself is essential to your own happiness, to your success in relationships, and to the way you interact with the world.

When you fall in love with yourself you will spread love out into the world.
“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret of happiness” – Robert Morley
Let us begin to fall in love with ourselves by understanding what self-love is.

What is self-love?

Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual growth.

“In the entire universe, you play such a huge role. The self-esteem and love you have for yourself is the only gift you need to give. It isn’t a selfish act to love yourself hard. Only you can love yourself to the fullest because you understand why every aspect of your life has happened. A self-love deficit isn’t what will bring you joy. The wrong mental attitude can be devastating in the world. If you have true self-esteem and high self-love you can share that love with the world around, you. To love oneself is to love the world and a person learns that only when they show themselves the kindness they deserve.” – Anonymous

Self-love means all these and more…
Having high regard for your own well-being and happiness
Taking care of your own needs and not sacrificing your well-being to please others.
Not settling for less than you deserve
Talking to you and about yourself with love
Prioritizing yourself
Being true to yourself
Setting healthy boundaries
Giving yourself a break from self-judgment
Trusting yourself
Forgiving yourself when you aren’t true or nice to yourself.
Protecting yourself
Living Intentionally
Not having expectations
Not being perfect
Being grateful for what you already have
Checking with yourself emotionally
To get moving
Cleaning up your environment
Being unique
Letting go of toxic relationships.
To meditate
To remember who you are
Crying it out and then dancing
Conscious breathing
Resetting and recharging
Locking the door
Listing positive things about yourself
Curbing the fear to be creative
Learning continuously
Not being hard and tough on yourself
Managing stress
Setting time boundaries
Stepping out of your comfort zone
Treating others with love and respect
Celebrating milestones and celebrating you
Following your passion
Not needing others to approve of you
Turning off and turning inwards
Being realistic
To laugh and have fun

Self-love means that you accept yourself fully, treat yourself with kindness and respect, and nurture your growth and well-being. Does this mean that you must be positive about yourself all the time? No, as that would mean being unrealistic. But during that anger, disappointment, frustration, and sadness, your love for yourself informs how you relate to yourself. It allows you to forgive yourself, consider your feelings, meet your needs, and make decisions that will support your well-being.

Without self-love, you’re likely to be highly self-critical and fall into people-pleasing and perfectionism. You’re more likely to tolerate abuse or mistreatment from others. You may neglect your own needs and feelings because you don’t value yourself. And you may self-sabotage or make decisions that aren’t in your own best interest.

Why this topic is very close to my heart?

I am in my mid 50’s and I would just say that my life, my journey has been quite a ride!

I was in a place that felt like a rut. I did not know where I belonged. I did not know myself. I had lost myself. I had no self-confidence. I had struggled to believe in myself. My personal life was chaotic. I would often see people who were unapologetically themselves and wondered how that was possible. I was living a mechanical life, living for everyone, for society but myself.
But self-love changed everything……

To be continued……

Article written by:

Leena Shah

+254733888951

leemshah@gmail.com