We live in a society where it is all about how we should look, how we should live, and how we should feel. Society does not tell you that you are also a human and that you have permission to be one. Not everyone is a super-mom or a fitness model or a billionaire, but everyone is worthy of self-love and love. Amidst all that it becomes very easy and important to love yourself when everything is good; when your life is flowing well; when you are successful; when your kids are obedient when your relationships are sailing through perfectly well…etc.
Your businesses or relationships do not break down because there are issues. They break down because YOU have an issue! Your problems are reflected in the business and in the relationships that then cause these issues. Your vibrational frequency is at play here. People want to be perfectionists and, in the process, lose their own value. And we all know that perfectionism is a trap.
Nothing I accept about myself can be used against me to diminish me. I am who I am, doing what I came to do, acting upon you like a drug or a chisel to remind you of your me-ness, as I discover you in myself.” ― Audre Lorde
“There is a crack in everything; that’s how the light gets in.” – Leonard Cohen. Embrace imperfections in yourself, in others, in your circumstances, as a way of living. Enjoy the process and put all this into action.
“If you are not growing, you are dying” – Tony Robbins.
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare,” Lorde
“Only by learning to live in harmony with your contradictions can you keep it all afloat,” Lorde
No one can accept you the way you accept yourself! You are your first critic. It is like dressing up right for different occasions because those costumes shape our personalities. We wear our opinions about ourselves for every circumstance. We end up judging ourselves.
Conversations with yourself and your inner critic:
Outer me: I really want to wear this outfit. It is so nice.
Inner critic: You are too old to wear it.
On the flip side…
Outer me: I really like this lingerie.
Inner critic: It makes you feel sexy and attractive even though no one else can see it.
Can you notice the self-talk? In the first conversation, you are limiting yourself. In the second it is all about your feelings and self-love and self-acceptance. When you accept yourself unconditionally, the world accepts you, and if it does not you will still accept yourself regardless!
Self-talk can be beneficial or disastrous. We always have a running commentary going on in our heads.
Growing up as I did, I struggled with low self-esteem, I found myself in a bad marriage, I depended on other people for approval, and I neglected my dreams since I didn’t believe in myself.
Over the years I’ve done a lot of work to heal and have made significant progress in all these areas. I’ve discovered the meaning of unconditional self-love. I’ve learned to set healthy boundaries and accept myself as I am, without needing approval to feel good about myself. And I’ve educated myself so I’m able to handle stress and face my problems in healthier ways.
I am going to leave you all with a short exercise. Please make sure you do this very genuinely and honestly. Because part 2 of this exercise will follow in the next article. It is very interesting indeed. I have done this and still do, and it is so effective.
Take a notebook and from the moment you wake up, keep writing down your inner self-talk throughout the day. Write it down as soon as you think. Write down exactly what you think. This is your notebook so be honest and write down your exact thoughts. Read your thoughts at the end of the day. And continue this for the next 3 days.
Please do share your thoughts and comments.
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